I wish I could help more but all I can do is to give you a small tip.
All players may have good and bad times, why don't you try to create or join a clan? (If you didn't yet) make some good trustworthy friends,run some events together, create and share a team account where all of you have access. None of us started geared and rich, I have just a necro summoner with decent gear but without the help of my mates I am pretty sure I couldn't do that by myself.if you change a bit your mind set and see things a bit more positive might help you I enjoy every moment with my clan I don't care if I miss any items, we fail some times but we are still smiling that's how we roll, take your time though and see how it works for you!