Greetings Player,

I'm writing this to you in hopes that I can solve the issue regarding my own wonderful piece of ass in as expedient a manor as humanly possible. It all started approximately two years ago. Before that point, the booty treated me pretty well. It wasn't perfect, but oh man was the ass fat and juicy. I could plant my face between those cheeks all day. But as fate would have it, this would not last. Something changed one of those days, and now, all these years later, I'm remiss to recall exactly the moment I should've ran. It's unfortunate, because all those years later, I'm in too deep to quit.

You see it was on a day just like this one that the booty betrayed me. Grabbing both cheeks firmly, lovingly, I dove in for my third (or maybe fourth) helping of the day, when the booty let out a little squeak (damage overflow). Now, I can be a bit of a freak under the sheets, but this was a nasty that was just plain nasty. But I let it slide. I smacked the booty playfully, albeit a bit forcefully, and soldiered on.

But the booty smacked back.

It shidded (crashed), it farded (10 second omega kill), and it shot me right out of that bed with a force not of this earth. The potency, the power of it all rendered me partially blind in that moment (solo crucible runs), or perhaps it was the impact of my head against that hotel room carpet (griever drops a hp potion on my forehead), but it broke wind to a moment of clarity.

This booty would never be the same.

So I write to you, player, in hopes that some time soon, you can show me just where the booty went wrong for me. My heart is in pieces, so I'll let your reply be the glue I need to unite me with my booty once more.

Thank you,
Firehawk